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I shared an article the other day about how fast love moves in the modern relationship. It was basically saying that part of why they move faster these days is because technology and more constant contact with whoever you're dating at the time. It's only natural that a relationship might progress a little fast. The article, though, was saying you may want to slow things down.
I see a lot of articles on my news feed about relationships, marriages, dating etc. Prior to being in a relationship, I typically passed over them. I didn't really care what they had to say about my non-existent relationship. But since starting to exclusively date my adorable man, I glance at them. I liked the one linked above. I think it had some good things to say about a relationship and how if you can help it, get to know someone very well before you tie the knot.
I liked the article and it had some good things to say about a relationship in general
But here's the thing:
If you are counting on an article on the internet to tell you where your relationship should be you might have bigger things to worry about. Sure you can read 10 articles with titles like "12 ways to please you man" or "15 ways to tell your relationship is on the right track" but if you're depending on some random article to tell you how you should be feeling or what you should do...doesn't that sound like it might be...well, wrong?
I'm not saying that there is no way you can get good advice from something you read on the internet. I read stuff all the time that reminds me to be nicer or give me some money tips that help me better handle my finances, but when it comes to my man, I think I'd like to leave the learning to experience. If anything, I think reading these articles and blog posts make me feel less secure in my relationship that is going really well...therefore, I have no reason to feel anything but secure.
What do you think? Can something someone else wrote determine where your relationship should be? Do you worry if yours isn't like the articles say? Should we pay any attention to all those articles we see on our news feeds and Pinterest? Is it any different than chatting with your girlfriends and having them tell you where your relationship should be?
Here it is Thursday and this is only my second day of blogging this week. There is something wrong with that picture. For that I apologize.
I blame the boyfriend.
Yep. I said it. I'm no longer a single lady. Being single was fun, but I suppose I wasn't planning on being single forever. I was hoping that eventually someone would come a long that would make it so I didn't really care about going out to party and all that. And that has finally happened.
Meet Travis.
Neither of us can just make a normal picture face, so this is what you get. I met Travis a little while ago and now I really just don't want to let him get away. We've been having all sorts of random adventures through out Las Vegas since the first day we went out. We went to my favorite bar, (atomic liquor), went for a night hike up Mount Charleston, found out that swimming at the Palms is free Sunday through Thursday, went to the shooting range, and basically discovered that the other is the coolest thing since sliced bread.
Travis is goal-oriented.
Smart.
Cute.
Exciting.
Funny (but not funnier than me of course. I'm the funny one.)
And way too much like me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm really happy to be out of the dating pool and wading in the waters of a relationship. I can't wait to see where life takes us next.
Online Dating.
I've been doing it for a little while now. At first I was a little bit embarrassed by it. I thought that dating online was only for older people who felt like they were running out of time to meet someone organically.
I found out quickly that that is not the case. It's simply how things work these days. My friend Shannon (check out her guest post tomorrow!) met her husband using the app OKCupid, and I've known a few other people who have met their significant others through an app or some other form of online dating.
Online dating has its pros and cons. Sometimes you get messages from questionable people who are clearly just out for one thing, and one thing only. Other times though, you meet people who are interesting. You might meet people who actually want to take you out on a date. You might meet someone who is destined to be your best friend.
For me, as someone who is living in a relatively new place, it's very beneficial for me to use it. I can meet locals and learn about the amazing city around me. Already it has paid off to have a way to meet new people and make friends. Last year while I was here in Vegas, I was lonely. The only way I saw to make friends was in class. I had no problem talking to people in class, but it never went beyond the classroom.
Thinking about giving online dating a shot? Well, here's how you date online and live to tell the tale (or just don't walk away really disappointed)
1. Don't put the people you chat with on a pedestal. Chat with them but wait to really make up your mind about them until you've actually been out with them. They might seem awesome in text but not at all in practice. If you build them up before you meet, you might be disappointed.
2. If you're looking for more than just a hook up, don't play into guys asking for pictures, Snapchat screen names, or those who obviously have less than innocent intentions. It enables them.
3. Be careful! People are weird...
4. If you live in a "destination" sort of place like I do (Vegas) pay attention to who is actually living where you live, and those who are just visiting.
5. If you're not interested in somebody, don't talk to them! It's easy as that...
6. Most importantly, have fun. Meet new people, create relationships, and let online dating be a gateway to the rest of the world.
Date Culture.
It kind of sucks. A while back, I wrote a post detailing how I love to be single. While that is still true, and I'm still not necessarily looking for anything serious for the time being, dating is really hard and this is why:
Everyone is looking for something casual.
I spent some time today reading a few different articles about dating. The main complaint is that everyone just wants to "hang out". The traditional date is so rare these days. I have been thinking about my most recent experiences with going out with new guys. Typically they pay for my meal or movie or whatever and we have a good time. But that's it. I hardly ever go out on a date where something was planned beyond a meal. When I do go out on a date where we do something besides eat food and watch a movie, it's with an older guy who has been dating much longer than the 21 year olds I've been going out with.
With that being said, I want to help you, men. I know that my following is mostly women, but I know there are a few men in the mix, and if you're still in the dating scene you could use this advice. These wise words have been brainstormed from experience. They are to be used particularly when you are first getting to know a person.
1// When you're having dinner, I don't care if you're at Denny's, place your napkin in your lap while you're eating. It's good manners.
2// Open the car door (this very rarely happens and when it does they get about 1000 extra points)
3// Pay. Seriously. Just do it. Yeah, it sucks that guys are expected to do that, but if it works out, I'm sure she'll buy your food down the road as well.
4// When you're having a conversation, don't interrupt to tell her something random that isn't relevant to the conversation. You would think that this is just common sense, but you would be surprised how often I can barely get a word in edgewise.
5// Don't talk about your ex.
6// Have a plan. Don't pick a girl up and ask her what she wants to do.
7// Put your phone away. It's forgivable if it rings or you have to check it, but don't play on it! Rude.
8// Don't post about it on social media right after. If it was good or bad or whatever. Some things don't need to be shouted from the rooftops (or facebook, or twitter, or whatever) If it continues and works out, maybe they'll make their way into your daily status here and there, but don't start out on that track!
9// Don't make things up. So many guys make up stories (and it is so obvious.) Chances are, we'll like the truth better.
And the most important one:
10// Do NOT expect sex. Just don't.
Being single, while it can be fun and exciting, can be a chore. I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has experienced a few very bad dates among those generally fun ones. What kind of dates have you been on! And Ladies, a lot of this advice goes for you too! I hope that what I had to say might help someone out on their next date.
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