Once upon a time, I wrote a blog post in my old blog about how I dislike being single. You can walk down memory-lane and read that here. If you don't feel like it, I can just tell you this, I was complaining because I was seeing all this cute coupley stuff and I wanted someone cute to hold hands with.
For a few weeks, I tried the boyfriend thing. As it turns out, it wasn't all that great. The guy wasn't the problem. He was fine. It was the idea. I was so trapped. It was like I had been single for so long (like...years. Literally) that I had forgotten how to be a girlfriend.
I suppose that it's possible he just wasn't the right guy for me, or else I would have just been able to get past that uncomfortable feeling of...suffocation. But at this point, I haven't been able to. I just keep thinking about all the fun stuff I've been able to do because I'm living free of commitment. I've always been a relationship girl...I guess maybe I'm different now.
I'm not saying that there aren't plenty of perks to being in a relationship. Relationships aren't all bad. In fact, they're great. But right now, I'm in a place where a relationship is not the answer.
Just kidding. I'll tell you.
I'm a wanderer. I can't remember the last time I just felt content sitting where I'm at.
I want to work on myself. It's hard to do that when you have to work on someone else too.
Just this week I had random adventures with 4 different groups of people that were beyond fun. In a relationship, I probably would have spent the weekend watching Netflix. (not that you can't do fun things when you're in a relationship, but I feel like the ration of epic:lame goes out of whack.)
I love dating. I partying. I love new friends.
I really like to do my own thing without having to check in with someone or feel bad that I chose to do something besides hang out with my "other half".
I feel like I'm enough for now.
I'm not saying I will never again want a boyfriend to later marry and reproduce with, but I'm saying that right now, for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
