Black Sheep

When I got a Tinder account my status regarding the LDS (that's the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or Mormon, in case you didn't know) became very apparent.  One of the first questions every guy will ask or will have on his profile is "Are you LDS?"  I get it. Knowing that you share the same beliefs with someone before you go out with them or consider them as a potential partner is important, but they don't even know how complicated of a question that is for me to answer.  And I know that I am not the only one.  When I was in middle school, I had an enormous crush on a boy who was a firm believer in the LDS church.  I started getting to know him. We talked on MSN messenger every evening after school and were fast friends.  This was back when we had dial up and still answered the land line...seems like it was so long ago.  Religion really wasn't an issue between the two of us.  One night, he invited me to an etiquette dinner hosted by his ward. This dinner was meant to teach young men and women the proper customs and courtesies when you go out on a date.  The Church doesn't encourage dating until the age of 16. This was just prep for the future.  After this dinner, I suddenly decided that I needed to go to church.  That if I wanted boys like that to like me, I needed to be that girl. The one who can quote the scripture and attends all of the activities. The Good Little Mormon Girl.  For my 9th grade year, I started Seminary. It was early morning and was hard for 9th grade me, but I attended every school day and I do believe I was better for it.  I even went to church each Sunday for months. I went alone and I sat alone, but I went.  As the weeks passed on, it got harder and harder to attend church. Not because it became less true or my ward was bad or something. I actually quite like my ward, but it just felt...cold. The good feeling I got when I first walked in every Sunday began to fade and love I felt waned.  Being that Good Little Mormon Girl I so desperately wanted to encompass started to feel impossible. It just wasn't me.  I wasn't that girl.  I stopped attending church each Sunday and I have scarcely attended since.  As I've gotten older and lived a little bit more life, things have changed. I've changed and my views of the world have changed and now I see things differently.  I have actually gotten out of the bubble that is Utah and seen what there is beyond the Mormon Church.  I am still struggling with who I want to be and if I want to give that girl who went to church every Sunday a shot. What I do know though, without a doubt in my mind, is that if I drop to my knees and utter words of prayer, someone is listening.  Over and over again while I was in training, I would close my eyes and pray for protection or strength or the will to carry on when I felt like I couldn't anymore. And somehow when it felt as if I wouldn't be able to put one foot in front of the other, my pack would feel lighter and a breeze would blow through, cooling me off and giving me a second wind...I know The words of prayer aren't for nothing, so I guess that's a start.

Coke Is A Fashion Statement.

On Monday, I had the day off. I spent almost the entire day laying in bed catching up on reading blogs. I read about 200 blog posts in a few hours...Okay...So maybe I skimmed a few.  I started writing a few posts as well, but they ended up being way more involved than I realized. With that being said, they are not finished yet... Today, I updated my Facebook...I fixed my job and my city location.  It still said Las Vegas. It made me so sad to change it. That might be really stupid, but I loved it there. I didn't really have friends, and I wanted to get a new job, but I wanted to stay. Leaving there was a sad occasion that I really wish I didn't have to do.  Maybe some day I'll return to live with the palm tress...Who knew I was such a desert rat? I sure didn't. Guess sometimes we surprise ourselves. Okay...Anyway, now I'm going to get to point here.  As you might know, I quit drinking soda.  I didn't realize it was such a big deal until I started telling people that I quit and everyone was treating me like I had done the most amazing thing in the world. All I did was give up Coke!  But Seems how everyone has been asking me how I did it and what made it easier, I figured I would share my secrets. Maybe it will work for you, and you too can give up the bad habit and change your life. 

Let me preface this by telling you this:  I was a coke drinker to the max. Two or three 20 oz bottles a day. A can in the morning. One after my work out at the gym. I drank maybe one glass of water a day and I craved Coke all the time.  It was truly an addiction.  It really was not easy to kick it, but a few of these things worked for me. 

1.  I told myself that I did not drink soda instead of tell myself I could not drink soda. It became something that wasn't disallowed, but something that was simply a part of my daily life. I didn't do that just like I didn't smoke. 

2. I didn't make allowances for anything even similar to soda. No energy drinks, no non-caffeinated soda like Sprite, no sparkling...whatever. It made it so I couldn't make excuses to drink a soda. 

3. I found something flavored that I liked instead of soda. I drank blue Powerade when I wanted something sweet or ordered lemonade at restaurants. The key to this one, is not completely replacing the old vice with a new one. I didn't drink half as much Powerade as I used to drink coke.  I just drank it every now and then when I really wanted a coke. 

4. I drank a lot more water. When you aren't thirsty, there is no reason to look for other things to drink.

5.  I told myself there was no choice in the matter. I'm not a coke drinker anymore. I hope I never will be again.

I'm going to be completely honest with you, blog, when I wrote on my list that I wasn't going to drink soda anymore, I thought I'd crack after a few days. Well, it has been an entire month and I haven't slipped once. I can run faster.  I sleep better.  I have more energy.  I lost weight.  I saved money, and I drink twice as much water as I ever did. 

A part of me still misses the Coke...I even have a shirt with the Coca-Cola Logo on it...It's my favorite. Unfortunately, for me, Coke is now just a Fashion Statement. 

Stay tuned for a review of how my other goals went this month!

Through The Eyes of a Baby

Yesterday was truly an awesome day. I woke up not feeling so hot, but I took some emergency, took a shower and really tried to just put a smile on my face.  Honestly, that worked really well. I made a solid plan for the next few weeks to get my school application completed, we went to the zoo, and we had a really good early dinner out at a restaurant we'd never been to before. It was such a good day.  My mom's plan was to stay home and clean all day, but once my sister text her and asked for some help with the baby, my mom instantly came up with the idea to go to the zoo. To be honest, I haven't ever been a huge fan of the zoo, for me, it was more about taking Kallie and showing her all the animals and taking pictures of Alexis with her. It's about making memories to share. My sister was so excited to get her a little souvenir.  It's so sweet to see how my big sister is turning into a good little mommy.  Kallie loved the zoo. I don't know how she kept that hat on. Usually she hates hats.  It must have been the little Velcro strap...
 Prepare yourself for a cuteness overload, because this child is adorable.  When we set her on the little one, she started crying. She didn't want to do it alone, but with momma, she was all smiles.  We're working on the waving. So far she just kinda sticks her hand up like that, but I think she'll get there eventually. 
It was cool to try and see everything through the eyes of a little baby. We brought the stroller, but most of the time, she was out of it.  We were trying to show her all the animals. The Hogle Zoo is pretty cool, but it's constantly under construction. While I get that they're trying to make improvements, you cant see have the animals at the zoo because the place is all blocked off. We made the best of it anyway though.  I didn't think she would sit in there all by herself, but she did and she didn't even cry. 

I love this picture of my mom and the baby. She has a special bond with grandma, but her face is cracking me up. She's looking at her like...uh...grandma, what are you doing?

And last but not least, you have to have a picture of this.

We're all growing up and our lives are being to take shape. They're all very different shapes that I don't think any of us saw coming. My sister's husband just joined the Air Force, so they'll be moving away sometime in the way-too-near future.  Megan is a senior in high school (she just barely found out she needs glasses. I think she looks like she's been wearing those things her whole life.) and will be off to college in the fall. I can't even believe that...college. My baby sister isn't a baby anymore and it's so weird. I don't even really know what I'm doing right now, but I know it wasn't something that I expected. Life is weird, but I think I can love it anyway. 

Until next time.

When The Sun is Out

When the sun is out I feel so happy.   My attitude can make a complete 180.  I didn't really do a whole lot today, just sort of hung out and ran a few errands, but I was in such a great mood. I was productive.  I finished my school application, got my orders and travel all set for a school in Fort Leonard Wood next week, completed my FAFSA...All things that I have been putting off, but today just felt like the day to get things done.   All because the sun is out.   Yesterday, the sun was also shining bright in the sky. I had a wonderful brunch with my good friend that morning, cleaned my room (read, washed everything I own), and I bought two tickets to see Tim McGraw.  Let me tell you, those tickets were pricey.  It's just an amazing thing how just a little ball of fire in the sky and make your whole day better. 
Sometimes I complain about my life. But today...I'm just happy because the sun was out. 
:)

Those Repetitive motions

Over the past few months, I have been looking at my life a lot differently than I ever have before. It's really hard to go from a point of constant forward motion to a point where I feel like I come to an abrupt stop.  In all reality, I haven't "stopped" I've just  had to sort of...take a little jaunt off in another direction for a while.  It feels like a stop though.  Hopefully things will start to change soon.  I change my mind every week about what I want to do with my life, so everything seems to always have too many moving parts to make it work. Even my blog is suffering from my inability to make solid decisions. I can't even think of what to blog about. It's a little bit ridiculous. As of right now, I'm looking at paying off some education loans, going back to school, and moving out of my parents house. Don't get me wrong, having a bucket of money because I'm not being charged rent is glorious, but it is so hard to come back home after being out all on your own for a whole year, then being shocked back into a life of repetitive motion.  On the bright side, after being out of all my training for 8 or so months, I can finally sleep well in my soft bed. It took forever to get used to how soft this thing was after sleeping on crappy "military grade" mattresses.  Now my bed has never looked more inviting...
Don't be fooled by the term 'military grade' it just means cheap and easy to reproduce for large numbers. 
The weather around here has been beautiful. I took the baby out on a walk up to the library the other day.  I didn't even have a jacket on, and I was wearing my flippy flops. It was that nice. The baby even tossed of the blanky I put on her. Needless to say, she loved going to the library. 

Auntie Katie, for the win. 
But then after all that beautiful, jacketless weather, it snowed on us yesterday. I was not particularly happy about that. It was really just the crappy, spring, lake effect snow.  That's when the temperatures get nice enough for the water in the lake to evaporate and then the temperatures drop just enough for it snow. And it sucks. I hate it because you just get excited about the sun and the warmth and the promise of summer in the future and then this happens.  
No thanks. Go. Away.
Okay, and last but no least in this Marathon post, I'll update you on my March goals.  I'm actually doing really well with most of them. I'm sucking up the blogging every weekday (obviously) but I'm succeeding at the hardest one on my list: I quit drinking soda. Cold Turkey.  My last one was February 24th. It has made a huge difference in my life so far. +I save money not stopping for a coke every day  +I've lost about 4 lbs without even trying. +I drink twice as much water +I can run faster and longer because I'm better hydrated +I don't get a head ache if I don't have one. 
It really has changed my life. As of right now, I haven't made any allowances for things like Red Bull.  I figure if I allow that, I'll just let my self have one coke, and then it will be all down hill from there, so as of right now, I haven't had a single bubbly thing in nearly four weeks now! Hopefully I can keep it up. 
I'm working on my fitness goals and trying to keep up on that stuff. I'm doing fairly well, while not exactly doing what I said I wanted to, but I am working hard and making a difference in my body and my work out. 
I hope every one is having a wonderful Wednesday. I have to day off today, so I'm going to really  enjoy it!  

Tougher. Better.

This weekend was really long and really short all at the same time.  We did some really beneficial night ops, but we had to sleep out in the 30 degree weather. That was not exactly the most fun thing I have ever done. It was a very long four hours. Just when I would get warm enough to sleep for a few minutes, the cold would pinch my toes and I'd be awake again. It was a tough mission, but it was good for us. It helped us figure out what we needed to fix among our team and within our entire platoon.
The best part is, because we were out all night, they gave us almost the entire day off on Saturday. It was heavenly. Of course, I slept almost the whole day, but it was so nice. I don't think I have ever appreciated having a heated blanket as much as I do right now.   I like to complain about being a Soldier a lot. I gripe and moan about the way things are done and how it could all be so much better, but this weekend, I just felt so proud to be in the Army at all.  As many of you know, it wasn't easy for me to get where I am today.  I had my little promotion ceremony today, and I just swelled up with pride in knowing how hard I have worked to earn what I have. I say it has been easy, but I don't know if that's actually true. I think it started out hard and I just got stronger. Tougher. Better.  With hair long enough for a real bun! 
*** Today, I also got to celebrate my only little niece's first birthday. This time last year, I was doing weapons qual and trying really hard to get enough to eat. I'm so sad I wasn't around when she was born, but I am elated I got to share this day with my family this year. I can't believe my big sister has been a mommy for an entire year...She sure made a cute kid. 

Happy Birthday, my little Kallie Wallie. I don't know what our lives would be like without your cute little face. I'm proud to be your auntie. You make my life better by existing in it. 

That Adulthood Though...

Remember that goal about blogging every weekday?  I suck.  But seriously, if you knew about my work schedule you would understand. If I want to do anything after work, I kind of have to sacrifice the blogging. Not only that, I am so boring!  Lucky for you all, I've been brainstorming things to talk about, and I've finally got a few things to say. Hopefully these idea will get me through the week.  Oh, and my friend Ashley  wrote an awesome post today about being a closet blogger. Go read it, it makes me seem really awesome. :)

1)  You have to get up and go to work. 

2) When you don't have to get up and go to work, you have to go to the bank, pay your bills, clean something, get the oil changed...it never stops. 

3)  When you go out on dates, you have to consider the possibility of forever. 

4) I no longer play around on facebook and twitter when I'm on my phone. Instead, I check my credit report and bank account. 

5) My life is dictated by this thing 

6) I get tired before 11 o'clock at night. 

7)  You have to get up and go to work. 

8)  I budget. For fun. 

9) I have to make plans in advance. Spontaneity is dead. 

10) I feel rich when I've got about this many moneys. 

Although my blogging goals aren't doing so well, I can't remember the last coke I had. I haven't had a soda in about two weeks I think.  I've been working hard in the gym, and my life is already so much better for it.  I highly recommend it if you're a slave to the soda pop.  

I hope you all are finding away to forget your adulthood this weekend. I'm going to be working hard, playing soldier and pretending I know what I'm doing. It's gonna be great I'm sure. 
Happy Friday.